Back to December
by akjupiter
Summary: A song-fic for Taylor Swift's 'Back to December'. HxR


_**Hi! This is a short song-fic I thought of randomly. This is my first song-fic so please no flames! :) I do not own Gakuen Alice. (I wish I did...)**_

_**This takes place when they're in the last year of collage now. So about twenty-three. Guys are twenty-four**_

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><p>Hotaru's POV-<p>

I sighed and fingered the dress I was going to wear for tonight's show. All the girls were doing the show as well. The girls meaning Mikan, Anna, Nonoko, and Sumire. But I was pretty sure they were only doing this because of me. And the only reason I was doing this was because Ruka was going to be at the show. It had been a year since I left him, brokenhearted. Mikan had told me he was never the same again.

He rarely joined in with group things and avoided anything that would remind him of me like science institutions. He rarely joined in on group outings and almost never enjoyed things he used to, like spending time with Natsume or taking walks in the evening. He only volunteered for animal helping and anything alse related to animals. That was the only thing that was normal about him, according to Mikan. Natsume, Yuu, Kitsunume, and Koko had to literally drag Ruka here though he used to attend charity shows all the time. The emcee, Narumi (aka gaylord), started spouting nonsense about the show, which I really didn't care about. I probably would've shot him with my new Baka gun 4000 if I wasn't so nervous.

I know what you're thinking. Imai Hotaru, _scared?_ It surprised me when I thought of it as well. Not Mikan though. I think she saw this coming and she warned me, but did I listen to my happy-go-lucky idiot of a best friend? No. And look where it got me. Thinking about running away before I had to face Ruka. Gosh I sound so stupid! As I heard the first performer go on, I sighed for the millionth time that day and slipped into my dress. Mikan had gotten it for me and I had to admit it looked pretty good. It was a floor-length maroon colored, strapless dress. It wasn't as fancy as it sounded but it suited me perfectly. Mikan came in and without another word, started on my hair, curling it slightly at the ends. Once she was done, I turned to her, throwing myself in her arms.

"I don't know if I can do this, Mikan. He was so hurt when I left. I don't want to see him like that again." I whispered. Mikan shushed me softly, rubbing my back.

"If you don't try it now, you're going to regret it the rest of your life." she responded, pulling back. "Hotaru, you can do anything. Just focus on the song. Don't worry about anything else. You'll be just fine. I'll be waiting backstage when you're done." Mikan smiled warmly at me and I managed a shaky one before walking out and tried to watch the previous performers, trying to calm myself down. It didn't help when I saw a scowling Ruka in the front row.

_'Scowling doesn't suit you, baka.' _I thought to myself. The crowd gave an applause as the person finished their piece.

"And now, we have the lovely, Imai, Hotaru!" Narumi called out.

_'This is it. Now or never.' _Mustering up my courage, I walked out with my usual stoic expression. I pulled the microphone out of the stand and spoke.

"This song, Back to December, is dedicated to a special person in my life. I hope they can forgive me someday." The music filtered through the speakers and I took a deep breath, and started to sing.

Back to December- Taylor Swift

I'm so glad you made time to see me.  
>How's life? Tell me how's your family.<br>I haven't seen them in a while.  
>You've been good, busier than ever,<br>We small talk, work and the weather,  
>Your guard is up and I know why.<br>Because the last time you saw me  
>Is still burned in the back of your mind.<br>You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

_Flashback-_

_I walked out onto the front porch and saw a bouquet of roses lying there along with a note. It was from Ruka. I sighed and tossed them onto the counter, reminding myself to put them in some water so they wouldn't die. I left for a science program and forgot the water. Two weeks later, Ruka came over to visit and saw the dead flowers on the counter. He didn't say anything but I saw the hurt look in his eyes._

_End of Flashback-_

So this is me swallowing my pride,  
>Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"<br>And I go back to December all the time.  
>It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.<br>Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.  
>I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.<br>I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,  
>Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.<br>When your birthday passed and I didn't call.  
>And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,<br>I watched you laughing from the passenger side.

_Flashback-_

_Ruka laughed as I told him about the failure science project in a competition. We were driving to a park where Anna had planned a picnic for everyone. His golden locks whipped back in the wind and I gave a faint smile, feeling relaxed and happy around him. One hand was on the steering wheel and the other was holding my hand tightly, like he was afriad to loose me._

_'Why would he loose me?' I thought to myself. 'I would never trade him for anyone.'_

_End of Flashback-  
><em>  
>Realized that I loved you in the fall.<p>

_Flashback-_

_"What? I don't get it!" I choked out. Mikan looked at me sorrowfully._

_"Hotaru...why did you let him go? You LOVED him!"_

__End of Flashback-__

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
>You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".<p>

_Flashback-_

_"Hotaru, what's wrong?" He asked me, worry etched into his face._

_"I'm leaving. You, that is. THere's problems I can't discuss. Now please, leave."_

_End of Flashback-_

So this is me swallowing my pride  
>Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."<br>And I go back to December all the time.  
>It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,<br>Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.  
>I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind<br>I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,  
>So good to me, so right<br>And how you held me in your arms that September night -  
>The first time you ever saw me cry.<p>

_Flashback-_

_I sat down in a secluded park as tears overflowed my eyes. She was gone. And me, with all of my stupid inventions couldn't save her. My mom was gone. I screamed softly to myself, tears flowing down my cheeks like a river, wetting my funeral dress. Someone walked in front of me and I looked up, surprised to see Ruka standing there. _

_"Ruka..." I hastily wiped away my tears. "What are you doing here?" He sat down on the bench next to me._

_"I followed you after the funeral. Figured, well, you wouldn't be taking this too well." The mention of my mother's death brought tears to my eyes again._

_"I - I couldn't do anything." I sobbed. "I could've ran out and pushed her out of the way."_

_"Shh..." Ruka pulled me into his arms, rubbing my back gently. "It's okay. Let it out."_

_That was the first time Ruka ever saw me cry and I never regretted it._

_End of Flashback-_

Maybe this is wishful thinking,  
>Probably mindless dreaming,<br>But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.  
>So if the chain is on your door I understand.<p>

But this is me swallowing my pride  
>Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."<br>And I go back to December...  
>It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,<br>Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine.  
>I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.<br>I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time.  
>All the time.<p>

Tears threatened to overflow so I quickly bowed and ran off, letting the tears overflow once Mikan held me.

"You did great." she said softly, leading me outside to calm down. I quickly wiped my eyes and nodded to her. Her eyes widened at something behind me. "Good Luck." Mikan whispered before scuttling back to Anna and Nonoko. I looked at her retreating back curiously and turned around only to see...Ruka. He looked almost exactly the same, the same golden hair swished to the side, same perfect face, same captivating ocean blue eyes. Except the smile that usually adorned his face was replaced with an ignorant expression, his eyes, which were once filled with life, empty.

"Ruka..." I murmured. He sighed and looked at me.

"Why?" he suddenly asked. My head snapped up.

"What?"

"Why did you leave?" My breath caught in my throat. I looked down again, my bangs shadowing my eyes.

"I don't know." It came out as a whiper. I glance up to see his reaction. Ruka glared in my direction.

"You don't know? _You don't know?_" "Dammit' Imai!" he swore. Another new thing about him. He swears. And I guess we're on a last name basis now. "How do you go and do something like that without even knowing why? How could you be so heartless Imai?" I cringed and metally scolded myself for letting the tears fall. It mad me weak. Why was he the only one who could do this to me?

"I don't know, how I can be so heartless, Nogi. I don't know either." More tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked up at him. "I don't know. I don't know." I repeated, mostly to myself. Ruka's expression turned into one of surprise as I shrank to the ground, crying without a sound.

"What, Imai, what exactly happened?" he asked me. I sighed and tried to hold back my tears as I started to explain.

"Remember when I didn't come to school for a week?" Ruka nodded slowly. "That was because, because, of my father." I spat the word father like it was a curse. "He blamed me for Mom's accident. He made me believe that I was worthless. He called me a murderer. He abused me for the next five days. I still have scars from the time he figured out that knives hurt." I chuckled humorlessl, turning my arm sideways reavealing the foot long scar that ran down the length of my arm." Ruka's eyes widened as he tentatively reached out and ran his finger down the scar. I shivered, remembering the time he walked into my room while I was talking to Mikan on the phone and...used the knife.

"What does this have to do with you breaking up with me?" his voice was a bit gentler now.

"He finally remembered that I was going out with you and forced me to break up." "At first, I refused, yelling at him. The outcome wasn't pretty. He threatened everyone except Mikan, Anna, Nonoko, and Sumire because they knew about the abuse. He was afraid of them telling the police. He threatened you as well." I turned away, blinking away tears and stood up.

"That's my explanation." I walked towards the building, but Ruka grabbed my wrist and pulled me into an embrace.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he murmured into my hair. "I could've done something." I shook my head.

"I was afraid, Ruka." "I started living with Mikan to get away from my father. He finally broke down and moved. I haven't seen him since." Pulling away, I gave him a weak smile.

"I'll be going now." I said calmly. "Thank you for listening." But before I could leave, he called out my name.

"H-Hotaru!" I glanced back.

"Yes?" He looked down at his feet.

"I know I haven't been great this past year, but would you give me another chance? Will you be my girlfriend, Imai Hotaru?" I blinked at his sudden question. A smile grew on my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'd love to."

He tilted my head back and kissed me softly, and after this night, I would never forget or leave him. Nogi Ruka. My happiness.

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><p><strong><em>Well? How was it? Please review!<em>**


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